Remember Joy Read online

  Truthfully, it wasn’t so much the game that he enjoyed – it was the blissful numbness that focusing on the screen brought to his thoughts. He was still having nightmares of Minter losing his leg.

  That could have been any one of them.

  He couldn’t blame Wilkes because they all played around at various times simply to let off steam. Now Wilkes had been suspended and Post just got news that his fiancée had been fooling around on him making him not fit to talk to. He didn’t want to hear about Annabelle-this or Annabelle-that. Post wasn’t dumb and the girl had him completely fooled while she fleeced him for every cent he was earning. He felt sorry for the man – heck, he felt sorry for all of them! He was surrounded by a bunch of guys completely down in the dumps.

  As the chair finally emptied, Mike slid into it with exaggerated relief and sighed dramatically for good measure. It was an unspoken rule here that you didn’t go over your hour nor did you take another guy’s timeslot. You could end up with a ‘blanket party’ if you weren’t careful – and he had no desire to get smothered with a blanket and beat with a brick of soap dangling from some sweaty tube sock. Nooooo thank you!

  Loading up his email, he did a cursory sweep looking for any word from the outside world. Griffin still sent an occasional email and he’d finally heard from Minter. The guy sounded like he was really getting his life back in order and Mike was glad to hear it. Scrolling farther down through the junk emails, he stopped and did a double take.

  CDillion?

  Clicking on the email, he began to read the screen and stopped. He took a deep breath, re-read the computer monitor, and tried to relax as he felt a clenching in his chest. How could someone understand or know what was on his mind? He was feeling exactly the same way.

  No matter what he did, something seemed to keep happening around him. It was only a matter of time before he got swallowed up by the nightmare around him. Mentally, he likened it to a man being thrown overboard in an ocean with utterly nothing in sight – but he really liked her analogy of the pink goo swallowing up everything too. He hated that level of the game with a passion!

  Cora,

  I am so glad you’ve written. I’m on level nine-hundred and forty-two but that is only because I get computer time once a week or sneak in the computer room when I can. I’d be more than happy to send you some lives, candies, or power-ups. I try to go out of my way to pass the building just to dart inside, log in, get my free stuff and then give up the computer to the next yahoo that is up for his assigned timeslot. It’s a pretty good gig and has me fully stocked with treasures to share with my new Candy Crush buddy! I will log in on the game momentarily and set you up royally – get ready!

  Ava is more than just a friend with my boy, Wilkes. I think they have something special going. He’s a pretty good guy when he isn’t completely ga-ga over Ava or her baby. The man makes the sappiest faces when he is looking over her photos… truthfully, it makes me a little jealous.

  Getting your email has truly been the best thing that has happened to me in months. I know… that sounds pathetic and lonely. It’s the truth though. I miss having someone to talk to and cut up with – it’s just not the same as talking with the guys. I am so relieved that you wrote me.

  It’s the ‘bomb-diggity’! (Cora - check your game – I sent you several bombs to clear the board. That should get you past that pink goop level. I really hate that screen.) What about you? Write back – tell me all about you. I will try to sneak in, send a few more quick emails, and let me know what you need for your game.

  ~Mike

  Nervously, Mike re-read his email before clicking send. It was hard to explain just how happy he felt in getting a silly email. He’d meant every word when he said that he felt keenly happy at seeing her name. He knew that he was really being dragged down emotionally and mentally by the atmosphere here. Everything was a reminder of Minter being discharged. In fact, he was nearly surrounded with new faces. Griffin, Minter, now Wilkes… even Post was in a foul mood.

  He wanted something to look forward to, something that felt welcoming or inviting. The thought of having a friend, a buddy, that was just his – someone he didn’t have to worry about disappointing or commit a lot of time to seemed to be just the thing he needed.

  The fact that it was a woman, didn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated.

  Mike was actually very envious of how some of his friends were finding that special someone. He craved the idea of having someone that simply ‘got’ him. It wasn’t ‘Mike the dumb kid’, or ‘Cooper the rookie’… but rather he got this insane craving of wanting to hear someone say his name with that special tone in their voice. He wanted to hold someone’s hand, go to a movie with someone to share a moment or simply hang out. In a sea of sand, surrounded by soldiers, Mike realized the truth.

  He was lonely.

  Cora sat at her makeshift desk staring at the screen frowning. There was a glitch somewhere in the code that glared brightly on the display making the webpage she was designing look completely wonky. She’d been going through it line by line for almost an hour now, irritated beyond measure. Glancing up at the clock, she realized it was nearing midnight and she needed to go to bed soon.

  Leaning back, she rubbed her eyes and arched her head back. Someday she hoped her work came to fruition. She wanted to be able to never worry about money again. The idea of having a nest egg that was just her own, something she could rely on for security was something she craved beyond measure. That moment from a few years ago still burned brightly in her mind, making her sick to her stomach. That insidious fear had taken root and grown, causing her to be afraid of anyone offering help. What if they had ulterior motives and were simply trying to take advantage of a gullible woman once again?

  Sighing heavily, she saved the screen and began to close the windows she had open on her computer, one by one. As she clicked on the X in the right hand corner of the window for her Gmail screen, her eyes glanced down and caught the fact that she’d received an email. It registered in her mind seconds after she’d closed the screen, making her immediately reopen another one.

  Sure enough, she had an email from Mike Cooper.

  Scrolling through the email, she felt her heart hammering in her chest as she realized that this stranger across the world might actually be nice to keep in touch with. He seemed to be very relaxed, outgoing, and friendly … but safely thousands of miles away from her.

  Opening up her Candy Crush game, Cora gaped in shock. He’d sent her ten bombs that would clear most of her screen when she used them. Those little candy bombs were expensive and you had to wait patiently to get them one per day. How could he simply give them away? – and to her, a stranger?

  Hitting reply, Cora drafted up a simple email in case Mike was still online. She was stunned by his generosity and wanted to say thank you immediately, especially since he only got the computer once a week. Having him for a Candy Crush friend would obviously make her game a lot easier to level up, especially if he was this giving. He’d be awfully disappointed if he expected the same from her, she thought, feeling that bit of wariness creep into her mind.

  Hello Mike – thank you so much for the candy bombs for the game. Wow! I can’t believe you had that many to give away so easily. I’m incredibly cheap and don’t purchase the extras in the game, which is part of the reason I could use some help. I’m glad you emailed. I will send you another email when I can, but it’s nearing midnight here and I’ve got work tomorrow.

  Thanks again!

  Cora

  … and the reason I am not sending any your way either, Cora thought in embarrassment at the constant lack of funds she faced in between paychecks. She got by but there wasn’t enough cushion to be comfortable. Maintaining her website for her side business was expensive and she was desperately hording away as many funds as possible to invest in a new computer.

  Feeling a bit more chipper, she clicked send on the email. It was time she went to bed before that insidious small voice
in her head could plague her with doubt and cause her not to respond at all. Why would someone be so generous or nice for no reason at all? People weren’t nice for simply no reason, or so she’d found. Everyone had an agenda it seemed; it was just a matter of finding out what his was.

  Early the next morning, Cora went through her day routinely. As she sat in the breakroom alone, she loaded up her game and played on her phone. Dropping several of the little candy bombs onto the board, she whipped through the level in five moves. Little bursts appeared all over the board, causing the rows to drop or collapse as each line cleared methodically. Grinning, she watched the score soar in the upper corner and nearly jumped out of her seat when the next screen loaded.

  “Oh, thank goodness!” she sighed dramatically and blindly picked up her bologna sandwich to take a bite.

  “Yes, yes – I usually tend to have that effect when I walk into a room,” Ava teased sarcastically. Cora actually felt herself genuinely happy to see the woman that worked on the opposite side of the office. “What are you so happy about?”

  “I beat the level I was stuck on.”

  “Oh, you did? That’s great I guess,” Ava shrugged and took a seat nearby. “I don’t play so I’m happy for you, but I really have no clue as to how hard the game is. So, yay! Go Cora!”

  “Thank you. I’m more relieved cause it’s a different screen now instead of that same one over and over again.”

  “Yeah, monotony is a pretty horrible thing.”

  “Very much so,” Cora agreed immediately. “How is your daughter doing with daycare?”

  “She’s good,” Ava responded and then smiled guiltily. “She’s good, I’m not. I’d rather spend my days at home with her since we’re actually fitting into a routine now. She’s getting to be fun instead of a little poop-machine.”

  “I’ve heard of cherubs, little dolls, and cutie pies – but poop-machine is a new one for me,” Cora admitted lightly.

  “That’s because you haven’t changed one of her diapers.”

  “Let’s keep it that way too.”

  “The only person she adores more than me, seems to be Colin.”

  “That’s good, isn’t it?”

  “Very. He’s just – wait! Did Mike ever email you?”

  “Yesterday,” Cora confessed, feeling her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “He seems pretty nice and gave me several candy bombs for the game that got me past the level.”

  “Is he nice? He seems to be and Colin thinks highly of him.”

  “I thought you knew the guy?”

  “I know he wants a pen-pal and is lonely – but that is really it. I don’t know him myself. Just a friend of a friend, that’s all. If he gives you bad vibes, just blow him off. You aren’t going to hurt my feelings.”

  “So, what’s his deal? Why does he want to write to someone?”

  “Bored and wants a gamer friend?”

  “No, seriously – what’s his real agenda?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Someone is always out to get something. You made it seem like you knew him, well, several of the guys, and that he was okay – but now I find out that you barely know the guy. Obviously, you wanted me to write him. Why? What’s in it for you?”

  Ava stared at Cora in surprise.

  “Not everyone has an agenda. If you think he has one, ask him. Obviously you don’t mince words when you think someone’s trying to pull a fast one – which I am not. If Colin tells me that he is a good guy, I am going to assume so because I think Colin is a really nice person, but my seal of approval means nothing to anyone but me. If you want to write him, great. I’m happy for you. If not, then don’t and I will still talk with my coworker when we have lunch together. Now,” Ava said, getting up from her seat and staring down at Cora, “I think I’m suddenly not very hungry and you need to think about what you expect from people.”

  Cora watched the door close behind Ava, leaving her alone in the breakroom once again. She’d been meeting with a counselor occasionally when she could afford to go, simply because she knew she had trust issues. Daisy suggested she step slowly out of her comfort zone and make a few friends, but with boundaries in order to keep from feeling scared or running away. She hadn’t really focused on the advice too much because Cora hadn’t realized just how jaded she actually was until Ava practically tossed it in her face.

  Daisy, her counselor, was right.

  Cora needed to try to work on making friends and get past the initial instinct to protect herself. She’d offended Ava and that was the sole person she actually communicated with at work in the office. She avoided speaking with anyone else, brushing it off as true dedication to her job. But that wasn’t it at all; Cora was terrified someone would discover something to use against her to make others dislike her or get her fired.

  Ava had been kind enough to suggest someone to befriend with no strings attached. She’d never pushed or pried into her private life – nor had she asked anything of her. She owed Ava an apology and owed it to herself to put forth an effort to make friends just so she wasn’t quite so utterly alone in her world. She would take the time to write Mike an email each evening simply to say hello and thank him again.

  Getting to her feet, Cora cleaned up her things and dropped her phone into her purse. Taking a deep breath, she walked into the office and listened to the faint clicking of people typing nearby. They worked in an insurance office and processed claims. The sounds were soothing, making her think of her own time she spent at the keyboard away from work. The clicking also reminded her of the webpage she needed to work on again this evening. She had her night laid out for her and felt pretty pleased about it. She’d spend her evening deciphering code and emailing Mike. Walking up to Ava’s cubicle, she hesitated.

  “Ava,” Cora interrupted, clearing her throat. She watched the woman turn and look at her, quickly closing her eyes and taking a deep breath against the fear that beat at her gently like a moth’s wings.

  Don’t give her any information.

  She’ll use it against you.

  You’re gullible and naïve.

  “You are right and I’m sorry I snapped at you. I really do appreciate you giving me Mike’s email and I know you didn’t have to. I know you said you weren’t hungry and I don’t blame you – but I’d like to have my lunch buddy back. How about I get us some coffee?”

  “I’d love a cup,” Ava said quietly, smiling. “I brought in some fancy creamer this morning that I thought I’d share. Do you like cinnamon?”

  “I’m more of a ‘whatever-is-on-sale’ kinda girl,” Cora said evasively.

  “With the cost of formula – me too! This is my single guilty splurge,” Ava grinned. “C’mon. I think they just brewed a fresh pot and if we are lucky, there won’t be any grounds in the bottom.”

  “Mmmm fiber,” Cora mocked ruefully as Ava got to her feet. She felt a burst of relief in her as Ava linked arms with Cora.

  “I was never mad at you. A bit hurt, yes,” Ava whispered, “I don’t have many friends and I consider you one. I can’t tell you what to do or force you to do something against your will. Having a friend or pen-pal has to be completely up to you and your decision. I don’t handle confrontation very well and I’m working on that, so you’ll have to forgive me for getting upset and leaving the room.”

  “Don’t apologize,” Cora stammered in surprise at the candidness in the woman’s voice. Cora knew Ava’s history and was taken aback to hear her voice it so truthfully.

  “Then don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself ever,” Ava said sagely. “I wish I was as bold as you sometimes. I think we could teach each other a lot as friends.”

  “I’d like that,” Cora said genuinely.

  That weekend, Cora surprised herself several times over. She found a way to crack the coding that was causing the error on the webpage. Once it was finished, she happily billed the person and breathed a sigh of relief as she received in payment for two hundred dollars. She hadn’t
expected the person to pay quite so quickly nor have them tip her on top of the fee.

  Instead of playing her game all weekend, Cora took some of the money to the store to get a new external hard drive to back up some of her information on the computer so if it failed, she wouldn’t lose everything.

  While at the store, she saw a display for Candy Crush gummy snacks and picked up a box immediately – for Mike. She wasn’t big on sweets but the idea of sending him something resembling the game in lieu of reimbursing him for all the candy bombs he’d sent made her feel good. She would get an address from Ava and send it by surprise. If Colin lived near or with Mike in the barracks, it meant she could simply send it there to Colin - but address it to Mike instead.

  Her mind kept drawing conclusions as to what being ‘too nice’ could cause, but then again – what could he do to her on the opposite side of the globe? Nothing. She knew the man’s name, he knew hers, and that was it.

  ‘Trust someone but create the boundaries you need,’ Daisy had coached and she was trying hard to do that. She felt so much better after talking to Ava even if it was scary to let someone in again. Ava didn’t want anything from her; she had Colin and her baby Aurora. Her car was nicer, her apartment was in a better part of town, no – Ava was safe.

  Mike was an unknown and maybe she just needed to proceed with that understanding. She didn’t know him, didn’t trust him, and had been hurt by someone she’d considered a friend/roommate. Sitting down at her table, she poured out her thoughts and fears cathartically in an email. He’d asked about her, instructing her to tell him all about her – and she was going to do just that. She deliberately left off the email address because she wasn’t sure if she would actually click send.