Remember Hope Page 2
That had been five years ago. It had taken her quite some time to drag herself out of her depression and realize that life goes on. She threw herself into her studies to earn her degree a few years later. A lot of tears, a lot of hard work, and a true passion for wanting to help people made her feel like she was a success.
Shamrock Pups was a therapy center of a different sort and Daisy welcomed anyone. She had sessions that met with children, elderly, trauma patients, grieving patients and others. Sometimes people just came by to play with the dogs, bringing donations or dog toys because they’d heard through the grapevine how well people seemed to do here.
The idea was born when Daisy herself had been gifted a beagle puppy by another student at college who thought it might be neat to train the dog to fetch things for her. Her friend, Eva, had meant beer or socks at the time- but instead she found camaraderie in the small animal.
Slobbers, as she named the little puppy, became her best friend and gave her a reason to participate in the world again when she found herself sinking fast. Those wet puppy kisses kick-started her heart and brought a smile to her face. When Daisy found herself adopting several other puppies and inviting people to come play with them, that is when she founded Shamrock Pups.
The idea grew into a business that cared for animals in the form of a rescue shelter – but it also cared for people as a rehabilitation center. Daisy believed that everyone needed a place where they were loved, regardless of whether it was a puppy or a human – and she believed everyone deserved a second chance.
The business took the mantra ‘good luck for when you are stuck’ because Daisy had been mentally trapped in a funk she wasn’t so sure she could pull herself out of alone. Being gifted Slobbers gave her a reason to go on. It had quite literally saved her in a way she’d never realized – and now it was time to give back.
Mondays and Wednesdays were ‘Double D’s’ and everyone got a kick out of the nickname. Her older dementia patients met with some of the more experienced and well-trained dogs. Those dogs had been through spells where they were abused or had once been malnourished. Daisy was very careful to make sure that each dog had the personality to be an asset to a person’s life – the last thing she wanted was to scare someone with a bite or upset animal.
Tuesday’s and Thursday’s were ‘Kidtastic Kuddles’. Children from all over came to play with the puppies she cared for. Some children were handicapped, others were from broken homes, but all of them were simply there to love on the sweet puppies. It was heartwarming to see them rolling around on the floor, playing with the doggies and each other. The children felt sheer happiness and a sense of belonging – because wasn’t that what every soul needed?
Friday’s were the toughest and most heartbreaking days for Daisy. She’d named the event each week ‘The Soldier’s Litter’. This was the day that everyone dealt with the ‘stuff’ that real life presented them with. On Fridays, she found herself smiling the hardest- resisting the urge to cry when others broke down.
She tried desperately to be the ray of sunshine they needed while they healed from the wounds that had destroyed their lives. It wasn’t just soldiers either – they had police, fireman, widowers, car accident victims, families of the slain, who all spent time here talking, crying, and desperately searching for normalcy… just like Daisy had once done. Her own brother used to come on some Friday’s as he was still dealing with the lingering effects of PTSD from his time overseas. Now, he lived in Oregon helping other soldiers. Not everyone was the same she found… some scars were external – and some were internal. Every single scar was a wound- regardless of where it was located on the person.
Every soul was infinitely precious- which is why Daisy was still trying to get ahold of the man who’d hung up three weeks ago. His voice sounded so scared, so lost, and it broke her heart. She had called that number back repeatedly trying to get a hold of the man. She’d gone so far as to call the VA center in Longview but due to HIPPA, they could not release any names or information. He wasn’t her patient – yet. Since he was avoiding her call and not responding to her voicemails – she thought she’d try a different tactic… she texted him.
This Friday we are meeting at Shamrock for ‘cookies and cream’ night.
The dogs get biscuits(aka cookies) and the people get ice cream.
Come join us – no pressure.
You don’t even have to say hello or stay long.
Simply be here with us for a snack – okay?
You are always welcome here, friend
Daisy grinned when she saw that the text had gone through. It didn’t turn red indicating it was a land line that the man had called from. She saw that the text notification moved from delivered to read. It was okay that he didn’t respond – at least he read the message and the offer was out there.
Sometimes that was the first step.
Strapping on her prosthetics, Daisy was excited for the afternoon’s event. She hoped that the stranger she’d texted would make an appearance at some point. Donning some slacks, she slipped a light cardigan on knowing it would protect her arms from the little scratches she was sure to get from the pup’s claws as they climbed and wiggled in an effort to return to where the attention would be. Her prosthetics were comfortable enough to wear for a majority of the day but she would keep her wheelchair nearby- just in case.
The cookies were baked, giving a warm sweet smell to the front office area she’d dubbed the playroom. The kennels were in the back near her office. She’d gotten caught up with the financial statements and billing, almost making her late for her own event. A small galley kitchen off to the side made the remodeled building feel more like a home instead of an office or animal shelter. It had been necessary to put ramps in and make the place a bit more open so she could move about in her wheelchair.
A massive tub of ice-cream was in the freezer awaiting the unknown amount of visitors that would attend. She loved having parties and meeting new people. Sometimes they adopted out the dogs and other times, they simply came by to see what Shamrock was. Walking down the hallway, she let the puppies and dogs out in the yard to use the restroom before anyone arrived. Returning to the front entryway, she made sure the door was unlocked and simply waited for the first person to arrive.
She didn’t have long to wait at all as she heard several cars pull up on the blacktopped parking lot. Walking out on the front porch, she waved and smiled as families began their march forward towards the building. Ignoring the cold brisk wind, she looked up to see a lone beat-up truck was sitting at the back of the lot running.
She waved and noticed that he didn’t acknowledge her at all. The shadows cast from the window tint made it hard to see, but she could tell there was a single man sitting in the cab. Carefully, she maneuvered the ramp with her prosthetics, holding onto the handrail just in case.
She both loved and hated the attachments.
It gave her a chance to be more mobile but increased the risk of slipping sometimes- especially when temperatures got really cold out- like today. Getting to the flat pavement, she made her way over to the truck and saw the expression on his face as he refused to roll down the window. Oh yes, she knew now that this was her caller from several weeks ago.
“You are welcome here anytime if you’d like something to drink or eat,” Daisy said loudly so she was heard through the tinted glass that he stubbornly refused to roll down. She knocked slightly on the window glass and was puzzled that he still didn’t roll down the window. Taking out her phone, she texted him as she stood beside the running truck.
“Hi! I’m Daisy and it’s cold out here. Come have some fresh cookies inside with us. The dogs would love to meet you.”
Surprised at the continued hard-headed silence, Daisy rubbed her arms against the cold breeze and shivered. She waved her hand, beckoning him to follow, and began her walk back inside. As she got to the ramp, she gestured again that he should come inside. Maybe it would just take him some time or he needed a
bit more prompting? Inside, she took a photo of the cookies and one of the puppies- texting it to him. She was surprised to see him typing on the phone.
I’m afraid to trip on a dog with my crutches.
Daisy felt a keen sense of understanding. She knew that feeling of being overwhelmed by something so scary it was paralyzing. She lifted her pant leg just enough to take a photo of the large prosthetic limb she had strapped on. She texted the photo to him and nudged the puppy away from her foot so she could put her pants leg back down.
You are among friends here – join us.
Several children were sitting on bean bags and giggling at the puppies wriggling all over their laps. The pups were licking and their tails were wagging fiercely in happiness. A few parents sat on chairs lined up along the walls, eating ice cream while their children played. Daisy heard the door chime as it opened and she glanced up with her brightest smile, freezing as she caught her breath.
The stranger was beautiful… and utterly broken.
It wasn’t just the fact that he was on crutches either. It was the wounded, devastated, haunted look in his eyes. That ragged pain that simmered just below the surface. She could see creases around his eyes indicating that he used to smile a lot, but that expression was long gone.
What. A. Shame.
“Welcome to Shamrock. Would you like a seat?” she said quietly, walking across the room towards him. He stood several inches taller than her and it looked almost like his crutches were a bit short for him. She would normally recommend moving the bolt brace up a notch but knew the proud man would balk.
“Why? Cause I’m on crutches?”
There was a silence that fell across the room at his hostile tone that he used towards her. He was defensive and apprehensive at anyone being kind to him. Had he been hurt so very badly on the inside too?
“Well, now that you mention it – you are on crutches, aren’t you? I offered you a seat because it was the polite thing to do when someone visits. Sooooo…”
Daisy drawled out sweetly with a bright grin on her face that she knew didn’t match her inner feelings right now. She was shocked at the abruptness he’d displayed but she wasn’t a fool either. When a dog growled that loudly, you were very careful in how you approached it – she found it was the same with people too.
“Would you like a seat or maybe a soda? If you want to be the only man standing- then go ahead and stand. It’s up to you.”
Instead of answering her, he simply took the nearest chair silently. She could see the protective posture he had as he propped the crutches against the side of his seat. His jeans were pinned up, revealing that the lower half of his left leg was missing. She wondered how long it had been for him since he’d lost it. It had been years for her and she still woke in the middle of the night imagining that her legs were still there.
There were several puppies and smaller dogs climbing around the room, scurrying around the children like nothing had ever happened. After several moments, the kids ignored the strange man altogether and went back to playing with the puppies. Grabbing a cookie, a scoop of ice cream, a dog treat, and a soda – Daisy made her way over to one of the empty seats not far away from where he sat.
She said nothing but looked straight ahead, still trying to keep a cheerful nature in the room that obviously held one enormous storm cloud – him. Feeling his eyes on her, she held out the bowl towards him and then finally set it down on the seat between them when he didn’t move to take it. She then put the soda can beside the bowl and leaned towards him.
“I’m glad you came inside to join us.”
“Why?”
“Because everyone enjoys a little treat now and then,” Daisy said softly, shrugging nonchalantly. “I’d like to call a puppy over but he will gobble up the ice-cream in a heartbeat before the dog biscuit. It will make him sick if he eats that,” she explained, pointing at the bowl. “Awww, here comes my favorite little fellow. Baxter! Come here lil’ Baxter!”
The stranger snatched up the bowl the second the puppy came into view. Baxter was adorable and would be a perfect match for the man. He needed a pup that would love him unconditionally and yank at the tightest heartstrings in the world. If Baxter couldn’t pull a verbal Awwwww! out of the Grinch- then no one could!
Baxter was a brown and white beagle puppy with massive ears that nearly dragged the floor beside him. His paws were fairly good sized and he would be a hefty dog someday but for now- he was nothing but loose skin, big black eyes, and a tail that made his whole body shake when he was happy. Daisy had spotted him among a litter that had been dropped on her doorstep and immediately fell in love with the little canine.
“That’s my little guy. Baxter, you want a treat?” Daisy cooed, cupping the little face that tossed frantically, trying to lick her hands as his paws pulled at her pants legs. She handed him the little dog biscuit. The little dog dropped immediately to the floor and proceeded to gnaw on the little bone-shaped treat, making all sorts of sweet nasally grunts and groans of happiness. Hearing the spoon against the Corelle bowl, she glanced over and saw the man take a bite.
Progress was one tiny step at a time.
“Can you watch Baxter a moment? He tends to bite off more than he can chew.”
Without waiting for an answer, Daisy got up and left the man there. Going into the galley kitchen she leaned against the counter and took several deep breaths.
The stranger was utterly gorgeous and made her heart thump nervously around him. While she was sitting there trying to think of a way to draw him out of his shell, she’d been trying not to picture what he looked like when he was smiling, laughing or happy. She just knew that if she did that – she’d probably turn to mush instantly and melt onto the floor.
Glancing around the corner, she saw that he’d put the bowl down on the seat beside him and was leaning forward to pet the puppy. Daisy bit back a sigh of happiness seeing the corner of his lip upturn as the puppy chewed on his thumb. There was something special about a puppy. That breath, those big eyes, and the sweet high-pitched little barks could crack the shell around any heart. She wanted to give him time to bond with the dog and knew that the stranger was on edge.
Ethan had seen the woman walk over to his truck and was mortified at the flare of need that hit him like a punch to the gut. She was incredible and a reminder that he had nothing to offer any woman anymore. The old Ethan would have gotten out of the truck and leaned against it, flirting and smiling, to see if she’d give up her phone number. Now, he hid inside of the truck like a scared man praying she would go away and not come near him.
He didn’t want to be pitied anymore.
He wanted to feel normal – like a regular guy.
Watching her stand there for several moments, he felt his shame grow knowing she was cold. Go away, he wanted to shout as tears burned at the back of his eyes. Go away and leave me alone. But why had he bothered to come if he wasn’t going to make an effort?
As if she understood what he couldn’t say, she began to walk away. She’d beckoned him to join them repeatedly – waving and eventually texting him. She knew it was him that had called weeks ago, or had made a heckuva guess.
Getting out of his truck, he managed to make it across the parking lot and up the ramp. He nearly slipped once and almost turned around, except he could hear the faint sounds of barking inside. He’d always loved dogs and even though his CPO told him to repeatedly stay away from Radar- his bomb sniffing dog, he’d always loved the pooch.
Opening the door with one hand, Ethan managed to step inside. The warm vanilla smells, the sounds of laughter, and seeing the wiggling puppies on the floor made him remember what he was missing out on.
No one would want a cripple, he thought irately. This was all just a reminder of the life that had been stolen from him. He should have finished his tour in Afghanistan and gone with Wilkes to a basketball game. He should be throwing back beers and flirting with girls instead of here.
The woman walked ove
r to him and he remembered her text message. The photo made him angry that she’d dealt with the same loss he had. He wanted to punch something because she’d suffered. Just seeing her welcoming smile at him made him feel a spark deep down inside- a feeling he didn’t want to flourish- and he’d snapped at her.
He should have left.
He could have disappeared.
Instead he sat down and began eating the ice cream she’d brought him. Why was she doing this? Why was she being so nice to him? He wanted to lash out and see if it was due to pity. Poor pathetic little man was getting all emotional because some chick was nice to him? Just as he was about to say something, she got up and left him there with a puppy.
Baxter.
The name was bigger than the little mongrel that was gnawing his shoelaces now. Ethan bent down to pet him and the tiny jaw immediately clamped down on his thumb. He felt a chuckle almost choke him, as it had been so long since he’d laughed at something. Picking him up, he cradled the little beagle against his chest and looked around to see if anyone had noticed.
No one was looking at him.
Good.
A pink smelly tongue suddenly licked his chin and Ethan smiled before laughing aloud. The little puppy was chewing on his chin and making little grunts. He felt a warmth blossom in his chest right before he heard the innocent words that chilled his heart.
“Mama, what happened to that man?”
“Shhh sweetie. He is here for a reason too.”
Ethan put the puppy down and snatched up his crutches. Quickly, he hobbled out the door and was hurrying to the car. He felt his crutch slide a bit on the ramp and knew that if he fell, he would lose his ever-lovin’ mind. He didn’t want to fall on the ground in front of anyone. He felt like he was retreating to what he knew was safe from harm, safe from emotion. He got into his truck and slammed the door – effectively sealing him off from the world. Looking up, he met her eyes as she stepped quickly onto the porch of the building.