Remember Hope Page 3

  Daisy.

  He didn’t want Daisy to see him as less of a man and Ethan felt that way right now. He only hoped that she didn’t hear the young girls’ words. Her high-pitched voice echoed in his mind over and over again, each time sounding worse and worse. He heard his phone ding and saw Daisy was holding her phone in her hands. He didn’t even look down at it, instead starting up the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. He couldn’t handle this right now and felt like a coward retreating from the battlefront.

  Chapter 4

  January 2016

  Daisy couldn’t believe how fast the handsome stranger had left two weeks ago. He had yet to answer her text message and wasn’t responding to phone calls. She ended up having dinner with Eva simply to unload, knowing it wasn’t healthy for her to keep it all bottled inside. She only hoped that whoever the gorgeous man was – that he had someone he could reach out to.

  “Do you think that it was something I did?” Daisy asked for the hundredth time. It really bothered her to think that she could have driven someone away unknowingly. She prided herself in trying to befriend everyone. It didn’t help the fact that she thought he was incredibly handsome to boot.

  “Honestly, you have got to stop beating yourself up,” Eva said sagely. “Which one of us is the counselor here?”

  “I am,” Daisy said quietly. “You didn’t see his face. Something happened to make him leave and a couple of people left not long afterwards. I’ve never seen it in such disarray so quickly. There was a little girl crying, her mother was trying to console her, and then that man just stormed off without a word. Poor little Baxter whined for who knows how long.”

  “You know, I know a girl who used to tell me that dogs had a keen sense of people. Maybe you should keep trying to reach your mysterious man. If the puppy liked him then maybe he’s not half bad.”

  “Or maybe the pup has an off sense of smell? I caught him digging in the kitty litter this morning.”

  Eva flinched and gagged silently.

  “That’s disgusting and precisely why I don’t have animals. Maybe you should let him go then?”

  “I can’t,” Daisy admitted. “I know it’s silly but I need to reach him.”

  “Honey, you can’t fix everyone. There are just some people that can’t be saved.”

  “I can’t believe that about him. I know he’s just hurting and could use a friend.”

  “How do you know that? Cause your psych-oooo?” Eva teased, twirling her finger beside her ear playfully and crossing her eyes.

  “No. I just know deep inside because I’ve been there,” Daisy whispered, blindly remembering those first few months after she’d lost her legs. The darkness and depression had been overwhelming. The thought of such a gorgeous, broken man being left alone to suffer bothered her greatly. “I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have you or Slobbers.”

  “Then maybe he needs a friend and a dog to fetch him beer.”

  “Not everything revolves around beer, Eva,” Daisy giggled. “Besides we never really drank in college.”

  “No, I know- but it sounds so hip and tough. Speaking of…” Eva trailed slyly. “Guess who I saw in town the other day?”

  “Who?”

  “Lily! You know she was in a funk for a while after her best friend died? Well, I guess that’s over because she was on the arm of some gorgeous cop.”

  “Good for her!”

  “I know you like her and she used to spend quite a bit of time out here hugging your puppies with Sherry. I always thought she was so sweet and outgoing, even as a kid growing up. Remember she used to live down the block?” Eva reminded Daisy lightly.

  “She always seemed really happy and he looked like he was head over heels in love with her.”

  Daisy couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that hit her as she thought of her own private life. She’d dated someone for a little while but things always seemed to fall apart. Instantly her mind jumped back to the stranger and she wondered what his name was.

  “Earth to Daisy?” Eva was saying, waving her hand and smiling. “You still in there?”

  “Yes, I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “I said that Lily scored her man through some pen pal program. She gave me the address and I am going to send off a few letters. I figure it’s like fishing? You put your line in the water and see what bites.”

  “That isn’t what dating is like, Eva.”

  “Says the woman who is sitting in a sushi restaurant, single, with her other single friend. Just saying, you know? Maybe we should both sendoff letters and see if we can snag us a hot soldier via snail-mail.”

  “You go ahead.”

  “You got something better on the hook?” Eva asked curiously, a bite of sushi suspended between chopsticks halfway between her mouth and the plate.

  “No. I just have a lot on my plate and don’t have time for a relationship right now.”

  “Riiiiight.”

  “Seriously.”

  “You are still stuck on your ‘stranger-danger Mr. Hot-guy’, aren’t you?”

  Daisy didn’t say a word and stared at her plate. There was something about him that she couldn’t explain. Maybe it was something she recognized in herself and mistakenly thought she could fix? What if Eva was right? What if he was stranger-danger after all?

  “Look, sweetie. Just keep an open mind and realize that you can’t save everyone, okay?” Eva said gently. “Sometimes you need to listen to that inner voice and recognize when it’s a defense mechanism and when you should go for it. Your voice might be saying to reach out to him – but understand that his own voice might be telling him to run away- for a good reason too. You never know.”

  A slight vibration from Daisy’s pocket alerted her to a text message. Pulling her phone out, she smiled and heard Eva’s sigh.

  “To put it in Daisy-terms. I don’t have a dog in this fight, do I? It’s him, isn’t it?”

  “You know I love you, Eva.”

  “I love you too- just be careful, Daisy. You are my best friend.”

  “I will be. I promise.”

  Ethan stared at the phone in his shaking hands. He was scared. His life had turned upside down and now he was putting himself out there again. It was terrifying and a reminder of how lonely he was. He’d sent a short letter in the mail to Wilkes and Griffin – thanking them for their quick work in saving him- but his letter to Griffin was returned to sender. He never heard from Wilkes.

  He felt more alone and alienated than ever before. Even his old friends and fellow soldiers had abandoned him. He needed someone or something to pick him up and that is when it hit him. He wanted to smile again and the last time he had was petting little Baxter.

  Taking a gamble, he texted Daisy to see if he could see the puppy away from everyone else. He didn’t want to do a group session or have anyone else see him. He just wanted to be alone, to have the puppy chew on his shoelaces and to smile. He didn’t think he could take care of a dog, but he could certainly go play with it and let someone else do the dirty work. Besides, it wasn’t fair to the little puppy to have him cooped up in a small studio apartment- even if they let animals on the property.

  Hearing his phone ding, he took several deep breaths before opening the screen. As he looked at it, he read the text several times repeatedly- confused. Was this a therapy session she was trying to schedule or something else – like a date?

  Please come by and see Baxter – we can have coffee too.

  Tomorrow at 2?

  Ethan was afraid to talk to Daisy. What if she looked at him with pity or made him feel stupid? What if he cried? Swallowing hard, he felt nauseated at the thought of weeping in front of the beautiful woman. He’d spent several nights reliving that nightmare of losing his leg. He still woke up screaming or broke down in bitter tears. He was having a heckuva time establishing what normal would be like now for him.

  What if he liked her?

  What if she liked him?

  W
hat if this was all a ploy to get an insurance check sent to her and she was using him? That last bit made him feel hurt as his mind instantly went to the worst possible scenario. This was a bad idea and he realized it now, but it was too late to go back.

  He’d needed to be able to deal with people because it was affecting him not just at home but at work. He’d been written up for losing his temper at work and calling a client an idiot before hanging up. He had to find a way to get past the anger and bitterness.

  See you at 2

  Chapter 5

  Nervously, Daisy checked her lip-gloss and mascara again in the mirror. Her handsome stranger was supposed to be here any moment. That would give her time to chat with him before group started at three that afternoon. She hoped he would stay for that meeting but doubted it. If the skittish man showed up at two, she’d be impressed. Hearing a car, she peeked out the blinds and saw it was him pulling up. Part of her wanted to run out and see him but she held back.

  He was here to see Baxter again – not her.

  She’d pushed that idea of meeting for coffee on him. She wanted to get to know him, know his name and see what he was like. She thought it was a great way to chat and it was a lot simpler than asking some gorgeous man out. He wasn’t her client – yet. It made her feel almost dirty to think of her dating a client… but everyone she met nowadays had some sort of contact with Shamrock.

  No one ever dropped in to say hello to her- Daisy.

  Everyone she met or who ran in her circles was either married, in a relationship, or needing some sort of therapy… so how was she ever supposed to find someone for her? Besides, just because she was meeting her handsome stranger didn’t mean they were in a relationship. It was just coffee- right?

  Smoothing her sweater, she put on a bright smile and waited for him to knock.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  Wasn’t he coming in?

  It was cold out. Had he changed his mind? Giving up, she opened the door to see his knuckles poised just about at the height of her eyebrows. Leaning back, she grinned and met his eyes.

  “Hey there. How are you?” She was surprised to see the look of surprise on his face and the flush of color on his cheeks. Before he could say a thing, she spoke. “Come on in. Baxter is in the blue playroom and starting to whine. He’s not used to being alone.”

  Daisy stepped back and made way for him to walk in. She couldn’t help but admire the way he looked again. She knew he was tall but he also had a presence when he entered a room, something she’d never had before. She always felt like she disappeared and it was hard for her to stand out. She wondered what it was like for someone to be noticed all the time. Shutting the door behind him, she turned to walk back to the blue room where you could hear the puppy whining. The doors for the playroom she had halved, the top half remaining open and the bottom corralling the little puppy. Several other dogs began barking from the kennel area knowing that there was a person here to play.

  Opening the door, she smiled amicably as he walked in the room. There was a low setting couch in there that was easily accessible for the dogs to climb onto. It was vinyl and easy to clean, making it ideal. She almost suggested another room when she saw the man sit down heavily onto the low couch and decided not to by the dark look on his face. She realized then that he was extremely proud and would be insulted. He’d managed it on his own and there was no reason to take that ‘win’ away from him. Shutting the half-door, Daisy smiled.

  “I’ll go make our coffee. Do you like cream?”

  “Please,” he told her, instantly picking up the whining puppy who was jumping up at his single leg that was outstretched in front of him. Stepping away, she walked into the kitchen to give him privacy. If she was right about him, having someone watch him fawn over a puppy might not be welcomed. She’d make their coffee and join him shortly.

  The minutes ticked by and she heard him whispering to the puppy but the words were indistinguishable. She wished she could be a fly on the wall and thought about putting cameras in the rooms but it could be invasive too. She personally clammed up when a camera was on her.

  “Here I come with the coffee,” Daisy called out with a sing-song voice. She wanted to give him plenty of warning because she’d seen all sorts of things when damaged people were alone and dropped their defenses. She’d seen people get angry, she’d seen them cry hysterically… and she had seen them just as this mysterious stranger was now.

  Lost.

  “What’s your name?” she whispered with a smile. “I’m Daisy, but then you probably know that from my voicemail that first time you called. Coffee?” she asked, holding out the cup and slowly entering the room. She felt so bad for him because she knew just how deep and dark that place was.

  “Name?” she prompted gently, taking a seat nearby.

  “Ethan,” he admitted softly, accepting the steaming cup of coffee.

  “It’s nice to meet you Ethan. I’m glad you came by. Baxter seems to have really taken a liking to you.”

  The puppy was pawing at his leg from the floor where Ethan had set him down so he could hold his coffee. Neither said a word for several moments and Daisy took this time to take several sips, allowing the flavor to reach her senses so she could relax a bit. She hoped it would do the same for Ethan.

  “Do you let people come here often to pet the dogs?”

  Daisy nearly spilt her cup, startled by the timbre of his voice. He had a tentative yet husky tone that sent a slight shiver of happiness down her spine. She never expected him to speak much or open up. Usually she was the one having to bear her soul in order to reach some sort of tentative bond with her clients.

  “Actually- I enjoy the company and talking with people. The puppies keep me happy and really helped me get through a tough place long ago.”

  “Your leg?”

  “Legs- plural,” she said with a wide smile, seeing the surprise on his face. “I’m willing to bet that is how you found out about me, isn’t it? Because people thought we might have something in common- but that is because they don’t understand. Do they?”

  “We have nothing in common.”

  “I’m thinking that we might, but not what people imagine.”

  “Like what? We are both cripples?”

  “You might be mentally – but I’m not,” she snapped angrily and saw the surprise on his face. Taking a deep breath, she sighed heavily. “I’m sorry but that is a tender subject with me. I think there is more to a person than their limbs. I think that the mind is stronger than the body and if you allow yourself to sink down- then you will.”

  “So, you just barf up rainbows and it makes everything better?” he said sarcastically, watching her. She could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes and the doubt. This was her now or never moment.

  “Barfing up rainbows – now that is an interesting concept, but no,” she said with a knowing smile. “I had hit rock bottom when someone gave me a puppy to train. Instead, I found myself having to care for an animal that had basic needs that needed to be met. One of them was companionship – and I realized that other people needed a chance to have that special bond with another person or creature.”

  “So, dogs are magical and make all your ills go away?”

  “I never claimed that.”

  “Then what?”

  “They aren’t judgmental with a big chip on their shoulder. They love and want to be loved by people regardless of how they are treated. People can be a lot harder to deal with because they are protecting themselves from being hurt and tend to lash out at those that want to help them,” Daisy said pointedly with an upraised eyebrow, taking a sip of her coffee- then she spoke again.

  “Sound familiar, Ethan?”

  His angry eyes met hers and she stared him down. Daisy wasn’t about to back down because if she did, she knew it would haunt her to no end. She was attracted to him but only if he was as strong as she suspected and she hated to be let down. If he decided to give up or bail on
her, she would always feel like she’d failed.

  “Now, I think you are stronger than you realize which is why you are having such a hard time. Prove to yourself that you are more than just a left leg- more than just what people initially see. Ethan whateveryourlastnameis exists here,” she said, pointing at his head and dropped her finger down to his chest. “And here. More coffee yet?”

  At his curt nod, she knew she hadn’t lost him yet. That was good. She got up and ran to refresh their cups, knowing he would need a few moments to absorb her candid words. The truth hurt sometimes but being called onto the carpet by someone else was worse. She’d thrown down the gauntlet, now it was up to him to pick it up and begin the process of healing. Walking back in the room, she saw Baxter had curled up on Ethan’s lap and smiled. The puppy had never done that with anyone else- including herself. She carefully handed the cup back to him, making sure she didn’t spill it, and took her seat again.

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “You don’t sugarcoat anything, do you?”

  “Do I need to with you?”

  “No. I’d prefer this truthfully – and it’s Minter.”

  “Your last name?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m glad to finally meet you, Mr. Minter.”

  “Please call me Ethan.”

  Nodding, she flushed happily and finally looked away from his dark eyes. Don’t have a crush! Don’t have a crush! she chanted to herself and took a distracted sip from the cup.

  “Will you be staying for group? There should be a couple of people arriving shortly.”