Remember Hope Page 4

“I don’t know that I am ready for that.”

  “You don’t have to participate, just listen,” she urged. “You can keep Baxter with you if you can keep from misbehaving or showing everyone that proverbial chip you’ve got on your shoulder.”

  A little over an hour later, Daisy found herself thanking the group for coming. Several of the men and women had misty eyes, including Daisy. That was the hard thing about being a part of group- she was a reactive crier. When one person began, she usually started crying herself and then you ended up in a room full of people blubbering.

  She’d been watching Ethan carefully out of the corner of her eye. He was sitting towards the back silently. She could see him tense up several times, knowing that when they talked about feeling lost or betrayed- that was a tender subject for him. She expected him to get up or walk out like he’d done the other day during the ‘cookies and cream’ event when he’d first appeared at her door. He sat there unmoving as everyone left the room, simply holding Baxter as if his life depended on it. The tiny beagle had sprawled out across Ethan’s chest and he’d slouched down in the chair to accommodate the little puppy. Walking back into the room, she smiled knowingly at him.

  “Do you want to take Baxter home with you this evening?”

  “I’m not sure I should. He’s a little thing and considers this his home.”

  “True.”

  “Plus, I have to work tomorrow and it wouldn’t be right for him to be cooped up all day.”

  “That is very sweet of you to think of him first.”

  “Can I come back to see him tomorrow evening?”

  “Of course. What time do you get off of work?”

  “At five.”

  “I have a long session tomorrow with dementia patients that ends at five, so that should be fine. You are welcome to stay and cuddle with Baxter a bit longer,” she offered.

  “I’ve taken enough of your time,” Ethan argued, then tried getting to his feet yet still holding the puppy against his chest. He then got a frustrated look on his face and set Baxter down onto the floor. “I hate these things,” he uttered, grabbing his crutches angrily.

  “I only wish I could have used them,” Daisy admitted. “You have a leg to brace yourself on. For me, it was these things or a wheel chair.” She showed her metal ankles and shrugged. She noticed the dawning realization on his face and suspected that he hadn’t put it together yet. She didn’t get a choice and he should be fortunate to be able to use the crutches, even if he hated them. “They get a little annoying sometimes but it’s who I am now. Let me show you to the door and we can put Baxter away until tomorrow.”

  Chapter 6

  Ethan walked out to his truck silently, surprised that he went to an actual group meeting this evening. He’d sworn to himself that he didn’t need it or want to go, but he understood some of the things people were saying. He didn’t feel like he was there yet where he could speak about his experiences, however, he understood that it was about perspective too.

  He’d been shocked to hear that Daisy used a wheelchair when she didn’t use her prosthetics. He had been so focused on how he felt and what he was missing out on, that it never occurred to him that someone could be dealing with the same thing or worse. Tonight, he looked at her for the first time in awe – not just because he thought she was pretty. He realized that she was tougher than he was and it made him feel like he needed to step up his game. Daisy was beautiful inside and out – and she didn’t make him feel like less of a man. She threw down the gauntlet and called a spade, a spade.

  Even now, sitting in his truck in the darkness, he felt the depression closing in around him. Taking several deep breaths, he started the truck up and drove home. Every time he felt that sinking sensation in his mind, he thought of Daisy smiling or talking – and thought of Baxter. Ethan focused his attention on Baxter – the puppy was safe. Thinking of the beautiful counselor was not. She would never entertain the idea of a relationship with someone like him.

  Would she?

  Shaking his head, he scattered the thoughts from his mind. Right now, he had absolutely nothing to offer a woman. He was a sad lonely man, grasping at the first sign of someone being nice to him. Women didn’t fall for pathetic men, they wanted flirtatious men who could provide and take care of them. He was on crutches and felt far from being flirty anytime soon.

  That little puppy with the floppy ears had enchanted him. Great big paws showed he would be a good-sized dog someday. He assumed Baxter would grow into his large ears instead of stepping on them as he ran towards Ethan. His little face would flop noisily as he harrumphed, sending his jowls flying. The dog would have quite a bit of loose skin and probably drool something awful, but for now he was absolutely precious. As he lay on his bed to sleep, he found himself cradling a small pillow, thinking of the puppy and how he snuggled over Ethan’s heart.

  The next day at work, Ethan realized that he was able to get through the day a bit better than he’d expected. He couldn’t wait to play with Baxter this evening and planned on stopping to get a toy for the puppy. Out of curiosity, he’d called his apartment complex to ask about a pet policy, just to be certain. Sure enough, they didn’t allow pets. He felt that sinking feeling again and shut his eyes, imagining Daisy’s large green eyes.

  Smiling softly to himself, he tried to focus on the little puppy that captivated him but kept coming back to thinking of her. He really needed to stop that! She was being kind to him because that is what counselors did. They talked to people like they made a difference and charged a fee to your insurance for it… only he hadn’t given her any information yet. Curious at the realization, he wondered why that was.

  He focused on that simple fact over and over again – finding himself getting more and more defensive. Was she allowing him to see the puppy because she pitied him? He hated the idea of someone feeling sorry for him and it made him sick at his stomach. Before the bomb, he knew he was good-looking.

  Dillion Luka may have bragged about having a girl in every town he’d ever been to – but Ethan didn’t have to brag. He actually dated several girls where ever he was stationed, not committing to any of them. This simple thought brought up the frustration again that he’d been robbed of his choices. Women looked at him with pity or regret- their faces said what their lips didn’t.

  What a shame he’s like that.

  He’s cute – but I don’t know if I want to be stuck with a guy like that.

  Poor thing – he can’t even take care of himself.

  By the time the day was over, Ethan was in a truly foul mood. He wanted nothing more than to be alone in the room with Baxter who treated him like he was normal. He didn’t want to see the pity or condemnation in anyone’s face, nor did he want to be cross-examined by some counselor… regardless of how pretty she was!

  As he pulled up, he wanted to storm into the office and demand to be left alone – but it lost something in translation when you were struggling to maneuver crutches and avoiding icy spots on the pavement. Instead, he made his way slowly, trying to keep an even mind. He just wanted to unwind and relax – not talk.

  “Hello Ethan.”

  “Hey,” he said flatly, trying to be polite.

  “Blue room?” Ethan questioned, stepping right past her without looking her way. He stopped, startled when a walker came flying up out of nowhere, two pegs and two wheels pressed up against the wall beside him- effectively blocking him. He glanced at her and saw iron resolve in her face and realized that maybe there was a bit more to her than he’d ever realized. The counselor had a tough streak in her under a happy-go-lucky personality!

  “Yes- I can put Baxter in the blue room for you. In fact, I’d be happy to. So, since I invited you to come visit again… part of that visitation comes with a big whopping dose of courtesy, mister. So, let’s try this again: hello Ethan,” Daisy repeated firmly with a wide smile that didn’t match her eyes.

  Shocked and surprised, Ethan looked at her and realized the petite blonde
was staring him down. He couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled up within. Here he was, a grown man who’d faced the enemy repeatedly and was twice her size, but she was bucking up to him like it was nothing. Seeing her expression darken even further, he nodded and backed down.

  “I’m sorry, Daisy,” he admitted. “How are you this afternoon?”

  She dropped the walker and had the good graces to flush embarrassed. Her hand flew up to her hair to smooth it back from her forehead as she cleared her throat.

  “I should be apologizing to you. I let my temper get the better of me,” she said regretfully and raised an eyebrow, “But this is my home as well as my work so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go trotting off on your own accord. You are welcome here, but as my guest.”

  “About that,” he said, suddenly feeling his own temper flare again. “We’ve never discussed billing or payments. I don’t handle pity well and if this is a freebie cause you feel sorry for me- then I am out.”

  “Nothing’s free,” Daisy immediately retorted. “I planned on getting your insurance information and billing them for your last visit and this one. I got pretty caught up in simply having a cup of coffee with someone who seemed nice – I didn’t remember it until later.”

  Ethan blinked several times, stunned. She thought he was nice? He didn’t know what to say or how to react. Seeing her face turn extremely pink, he also realized that she’d never expected to admit it to him either. This gave him a flush of happiness that reached the sole of his single shoe. Nervously, she smiled and ducked- clasping her hands together and practically running out of the room.

  “Blue room! I’ll get Baxter for you!” she hollered out behind her as she disappeared from sight. Ethan felt himself grinning as he made his way slowly to the blue therapy room awaiting the little puppy and Daisy.

  As she returned, he’d just taken a seat on the couch. Baxter scrambled out of her arms and she had to struggle to hold him. The puppy had taken one look at Ethan and leapt towards the man. He reached up to grab Baxter at the same time that Daisy leaned forward in an effort to hang onto the dog as to not drop him. Their hands met and she immediately stumbled, catching herself with the arm of the couch he was sitting on.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes,” she breathed, turning bright pink again. “My balance isn’t the greatest sometimes with these things especially when I have a little octopus in my arms. He really likes you.”

  “I like him too.”

  He got quiet and nearly bit his tongue to keep from saying aloud I like you too. Daisy just stood there as Baxter immediately began licking Ethan’s hands as he tried to pet the animal. He looked up to see her watching him with a peculiar look on her face.

  “What?” he blurted out, trying to keep it from sounding rude.

  “Nothing,” she quipped immediately. “If you’ll give me your driver’s license and insurance information – I’ll go start your folder. I want to make sure I bill them so we don’t have to worry about mistaken freebies ever again.”

  “I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “Don’t always assume the worst all the time, Ethan. Sometimes there are no ulterior motives or reasons behind what people say or do,” Daisy said simply as he handed her the cards. He watched her walk out of the room and focused on the wriggling puppy in his lap.

  Maybe she was right. What if he was looking for the negative all the time because it was easier to handle for him? He felt like everything he knew was taken from him and needed some sense of security. It was easy to believe the worst of people. If you had twenty people tell you that you looked great in an outfit, but one person said you looked awful… in your mind you looked awful- regardless of what the others said.

  Changing his perspective was a hard thing to do, he thought sadly and continued to pet the puppy. He needed to be strong enough to be okay with whatever came his way. Baxter and Daisy were the first steps down that long road that lay ahead of him.

  “Daisy! What is wrong with you?” she muttered to herself as she entered the silence of her office to start a patient file for Ethan. There was something about the man that brought out repressed emotions in her. First, she loses her temper and now she was practically fawning all over him like a simpleton. She was thankful and sad that she didn’t fall right into his lap with the puppy.

  “Oh gosh… his gorgeous eyes,” she whimpered and closed her own eyes in sheer delight. There was something about the way his eyes held hers. Some girls were into shoulders, some were into guys with tight jeans, and others liked an arrogant attitude. For her, the eyes had it! Ethan’s dark brown eyes did a number on her heart. She could look at him for hours on end and see a hundred bajillion different expressions in those dark orbs.

  And these were thoughts that she wasn’t supposed to be having!

  Bad counselor!

  Bad girl!

  Rolling her eyes at herself, she sat down at the desk and copied his driver’s license and proof of medical insurance. Ethan Minter was twenty-nine years old. He had a birthday coming up in May, organ donor, six foot tall…. mmmm yes. He was checking off all her mental boxes.

  Check. Check. Check.

  Had a driver’s license photo ever looked so good? Ever??

  “Oh my gosh… I’ve got it bad,” she whispered and hurriedly wrote down the information she needed. This was bad, so very bad. Maybe she should just tell him that she couldn’t take him on as a client – but then that would lead to explanations. Could she explain it? Could she tell him why? A hurt or wounded look in those beautiful eyes would simply be like a stake to the heart. She couldn’t do it! She would have to be the professional and keep her yearning thoughts, happy sighs, and dreamy wishes to herself.

  Ethan Minter was off-limits!

  … and that was a crying shame.

  Chapter 7

  Daisy was having a tough time having Ethan as a client. First of all, clients weren’t supposed to be attractive. There had to be an unspoken rule somewhere, if not- she was going to make one! Secondly, why on earth did he have to be witty and intelligent? He didn’t participate much in group sessions, but when he spoke up it was usually something that wow’d her or made her think.

  Smart men were incredibly sexy.

  Last of all, Daisy was starting to get the impression that he was trying to befriend her but was scared to. That should have been a good thing for her – befriending clients was in general a bad, bad idea… but then again so was harboring a crush on a client. Sometimes she would catch his dark eyes watching her and practice in her head how she would recommend another counselor.

  “Sorry, I can’t see you anymore – you are too gosh darn hot to handle.”

  “I think there would be someone better suited to meet with you – oh? Now you want to have a dinner together Friday night? Sure!”

  “There’s been a terrible mistake… and we can discuss it over dinner.”

  “You’re fired… cause you are HAWT! Canna I get an Amen?”

  Daisy smothered a laugh and pretended to cough as her mind wandered on its own. There was no fighting it, she thought the man was breathtaking and it was distracting. The sooner he felt secure about not needing group, the better off she would be. Then she could go off to her solitary world full of puppies and strangers.

  Man, that sounded rough, she thought morosely.

  She found, beginning only this last week, finding herself wishing she had someone to watch television with at night or to share a cup of coffee. She wondered if he liked scary movies, comedies, or action movies. She wondered what he looked like when he smiled and what he liked to eat for breakfast.

  Omelets, poached eggs, fried eggs… fertilized ones?

  This time Daisy choked hard on her water as she accidently spit it out of her mouth. Mortified, she saw it fan out from her mouth towards Baxter who yelped and ran to hide under Ethan’s chair. Coughing and apologizing profusely, she excused herself from the group session and felt Ethan’s eyes burning in her back. O
h my gosh, where had that thought come from? Fertilized eggs as in children? She’d barely had any conversations with the man and could not be thinking of him like that! Hearing a knock at the bathroom door, Daisy sighed and yanked it open to see Ethan standing there.

  “Are you alright?”

  “Yes,” she croaked out, looking away. Her voice had not returned fully and her trachea burned with irritation. “My drink went down the wrong pipe.”

  “I don’t think it went down, exactly. It was more like it went up. Baxter is soaked,” he teased quietly. Daisy looked up and froze at the smile on his face. His arms were there holding his crutches but for the first time ever she noticed how tan and strong his arms looked where they peeked out from his short sleeve t-shirt. He’d removed his jacket earlier revealing them and she’d been trying desperately not to look at the man. He was too attractive for his own good.

  Oh no, she thought to herself. There is no unseeing that smile.

  “What’s wrong with my smile? Have I got something stuck in my teeth?” he asked, his smile faltering instantly. He immediately ran his tongue along his teeth and Daisy stared, fascinated, before realizing that he was waiting for her to respond.

  “Did I say that out loud?”

  “Yes, and you didn’t answer the question.”

  “Nothing is wrong with your smile. It’s me, not you,” she teased and gave a giggle that sounded more like a snort. Mortified, she threw her hands up and grinned nervously. “Isn’t that what people say?”

  “Are we breaking up then?” There was a tone so intimate, so seductive to his voice that made her instantly take note. This was a new side to Ethan- one that was utterly charming as he flirted back. Dangerous territory!

  “What?”

  “That is what you say when you break up with someone.”

  “We aren’t breaking up – we aren’t even dating. That’s a bad thing for a counselor to do you know. I mean, we just don’t do that. We aren’t supposed to anyway. No. That would be bad. Super bad- like as in jinxed-forever-bad. Nuh-uh.”