Remember Hope Read online

  “How about those?” she spoke softly as the screen began to play the announcements and the lights dimmed. Seeing him nod, she moved to take a seat and realized that this was actually an ideal location. He could set his crutches against the wall beside him as he took his seat.

  “Do you want popcorn?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want to share if I get some?”

  “I’ll get it,” he said getting his crutches.

  “Actually, I’m offering because I need to use the restroom too- and you can’t do that for me. What you could do, is hold my seat so some other woman doesn’t see you and take it,” she quipped with a smile, patting his hand. “I’ll be right back. Ticket?” she asked, extending her hand. He quickly dug it out of his pocket and handed it to her.

  Daisy felt a little guilty about the white lie, but it was said so he could save face. She didn’t expect him to try and manage popcorn or a drink with those crutches – it was part of the reason she asked for the prosthetics for herself. She visited the concession stand and asked for a tray to hold everything. Returning, she saw his fingers were laced over his chest as he stared at the screen ahead until the moment she came around the wall separating the seats from the entryway. The moment her eyes met his, Ethan’s face immediately lit up with anticipation.

  “I got us a few Cokes too,” she explained, taking her seat next to him.

  “How much was it?”

  “This is my treat- you bought the movie tickets.”

  “I insist.”

  “You can buy me dinner on Saturday then,” she countered, holding her breath as he ducked down to hear her as the volume of the theater surged. The music opening the movie had begun. His eyes met hers, not inches from her face, and the lights dimmed into sheer darkness except for the flickering on the screen.

  “Saturday?”

  “I was thinking you could pick me up at five or six- maybe?” Daisy offered, just before they were shushed by people several rows behind them. The moment broken, she quickly handed Ethan his drink and put the popcorn where both of them could reach the bucket easily. Looking back, she barely remembered the movie – only focusing on how he held her hand during it and the way his fingers laced with hers.

  When they left the theater, Daisy found that Ethan had relaxed some, smiling more and more. His chuckle gave her happy goosebumps and a giddy sensation in the pit of her stomach as she listened to him talk.

  “I couldn’t help but laugh when the guy split his pants. I’ve done that- it’s not fun,” he admitted, laughing and wiping his eyes as he got into the truck.

  “I think we’ve all done that truthfully,” she giggled. “I’m glad you liked the movie.”

  “It was the company that made it terrific.”

  “I was just thinking the same thing.”

  “Would you like to do something else or should I take you home?”

  “Let’s grab an ice cream cone or something. We could sit in the truck and just keep talking, if that’s okay?”

  “It’s perfect.”

  Ethan started up the truck and drove to McDonalds. As he pulled up to the drive thru and rolled down his window, Daisy tapped on his arm.

  “What would you like?”

  “Chocolate dip cone please,” she asked politely.

  “Make that two chocolate dip cones and plenty of napkins, please,” he ordered and then winked at Daisy. “I remember those as a kid. The ice cream always melted before the chocolate.”

  “They are a guilty pleasure of mine. Are you sure you don’t mind this?”

  “I’m positive. I can’t think of a better way to end the evening than having you all to myself with a chocolate dip cone.”

  “When you put it like that…” she teased, rolling her eyes.

  “Sounds like heaven?” he quipped, rolling the truck forward and paying. She watched as Ethan received each cone and a stack of napkins. He pulled the truck out of the lane and backed it into a parking spot nearby.

  “You better start, there is already a drip coming off your cone.”

  The two ate quickly, barely talking as the ice cream melted fast in the warm cab of the truck. Glancing up, as she was finishing her cone, she realized that Ethan had a smudge of chocolate on his cheek near his lip. Grinning, she handed him a napkin.

  “You’ve got chocolate on your cheek.”

  “It’s on your nose and chin,” he grinned and Daisy yanked down the visor, sliding over the mirror. Sure enough, she had chocolate on her nose, chin and cheek from where she’d tried to bite into it in a hurry.

  “Don’t look,” she muttered and grabbed a napkin, wiping at her own face, feeling mortified about inhaling the ice cream treat. Just as she was about to wipe off her cheek, Ethan’s hand touched hers, stopping her. Daisy looked at him and caught her breath at the intensity in his eyes.

  “Come here,” he whispered, pulling on her wrist gently. This was what she’d dreamed of repeatedly and imagined – but the real thing was so much better. She hesitated just as she got close to him, seeing him lean towards her in the truck. The crutches were wedged between them but instead of it being a wall between them, it was more like a window ledge between Romeo and Juliet, she mused silently.

  “I’ve had such a wonderful time this evening,” he admitted, his hand cupping her face as his thumb brushed against her cheek. His eyes were focused singularly on her lips, making her want to lick them in case there was still chocolate on her.

  “I did too,” she confessed. “This was so much fun and so scary at the same time.”

  “Are you scared of me?”

  “No, I’m petrified of ruining a relationship with a client. I’ve never done this before.”

  “I’m glad,” he whispered, his thumb touching her lip, and Daisy had to bite back a sigh of delight. “I don’t want to ruin anything but rather just change the relationship. If you need me to see someone else for session- I’d be happy to- but I’m not giving up on this.”

  Ethan’s lips caressed hers ever so sweetly, making her chest ache with a feeling she’d never experience before. He kissed her for a moment, not making any sort of fast moves or taking advantage of the situation. He broke the kiss, hovering just above her mouth, and gently kissed her upper lip.

  Daisy raised a shaking hand to her lips and sat back, looking at him. Ethan looked just as shell-shocked as she felt. The intensity between them was electric. The moment his lips touched hers, she’d felt a warmth in her soul that she hadn’t realized was cold. It was like something surged between them that was so right in so many ways.

  “Maybe we should go?” she whispered, unsure and frightened of the thoughts running through her mind. She needed time to analyze, sort, and evaluate what kissing someone- a client- like that could do to her both mentally and emotionally.

  “Can I still see you Saturday?”

  “Yes,” Daisy replied instinctively, before her head or heart could speak up.

  Chapter 10

  The next few days flew by and Daisy felt herself completely distracted. She walked outside in the rain carelessly one afternoon without a jacket or umbrella, simply because she thought she might take in a bit of sunshine. Another day, she was entering in payments on an excel file and forgot to save it – after she’d shredded the information, both of which were absolute no-no’s in running a business. This morning she’d made cookies for the group this afternoon and burnt her hand on the pan. Carelessly, she’d reached right in without a mitt since she’d been thinking of Ethan’s dark eyes just before he kissed her. The double chocolate chunk cookie batter reminded her of that same mocha color of his eyes.

  Daisy knew she’d see him at group tonight and would do her best to play things cool. She didn’t want anyone to know that she was seeing someone there, nor was she sure how they’d handle it. Part of her wanted to call off and cancel dinner tomorrow night with Ethan but she knew that would never happen. She was anxiously awaiting it and had picked out her outfit two nights ago –
steaming it free of wrinkles twice in anticipation.

  It was getting a little warmer now that they were past February. From here on, the weather in East Texas would get significantly warmer, allowing her to wear flowy dresses when they went out, or light-colored slacks. Part of her was a little nervous at wearing a dress in front of Ethan. He was so sensitive about his leg that she wondered how he would react to seeing her prosthetics. People’s initial reaction was usually a mix of surprise, pity, and curiosity. She used to volunteer the information but then realized that the only person it affected was her. It brought up the memories of those first days trying to learn how to walk again and the soreness that came with trying on the prosthetics for the first time.

  Walking into the kitchen, she filled the bowls for the dogs before letting them out of their kennels. She hated to crate them at night but having so many animals running loose in the house proved to be more damaging for her and the dogs. They kept emptying the trash can and she would find the debris scattered around the house; they chewed on cords, and one ate drywall, leaving gaping holes overnight. Oh yes, having a variety of dogs taught her quite a lesson in how best to live in harmony.

  Even Slobbers had been crated at night. It was too hazardous to her to have him loose because he’d earned his name quite literally. She’d slipped in a puddle of drool one morning and landed face first on the floor, nearly knocking herself out. Even with all of those thoughts, she missed him quite a bit sometimes.

  There was nothing like your first pet and she would always remember him, part of the reason she’d set up Shamrock. When she’d found out about Slobber’s cancer, she’d been devastated. The doctor had told her it was fast growing and they’d done everything they could. When Daisy realized that she was going to be alone again, she made the move, adopting everything she could get her hands on. Slobbers had been her tether, or lifeline, to finding herself again, and the thought of her dog passing away terrified her.

  Sure enough, two months later, he was gone and she was a wreck. That had been several years ago. She had grown so much and come so far. Life was a brutal teacher sometimes, but gave the best rewards. Slobbers had been one of them – and part of her wondered if Ethan was another.

  As Daisy opened the crates, she heard a bell ring indicating that she’d forgotten to unlock the front door. Carefully moving down the hallway, she frowned. Her limb didn’t quite feel right and she’d need to adjust it again. It felt like the sock was twisted on her knee. Opening the door, she smiled.

  “Hi Ethan, you’re early.”

  “I thought I’d try to catch you before group so we could talk for a bit.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Now that I’ve seen that smile,” he murmured tenderly. Daisy couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. She knew he was being sincere but she didn’t feel like she was anything special or extraordinary – even if he made her feel that way.

  “Play it cool, Romeo,” she whispered, pointing over his shoulder. “Several people just pulled up. Baxter is in the kitchen eating if you want to see if he’s done.”

  “Can I kiss you before I leave?”

  “What?”

  “I couldn’t get you out of my mind the last few days.”

  “We’ve been on one date,” she hedged nervously.

  “Do you want to go out tonight too?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “You didn’t say no,” Ethan said with a corny smile as he winked at her. Daisy glanced over his shoulder to see people coming up the ramp to the house. She didn’t want to get caught with Ethan coming onto her. She needed him on his best behavior, especially in front of everyone else.

  “I didn’t say yes either. We’ll talk later,” she said quietly and moved to say hello as the door opened. “Come in please. I’ve made cookies and there are drinks in the fridge. I need a moment if you don’t mind and I will meet you in the blue room.”

  Daisy stepped away and walked methodically to the back room of the house. Her bedroom was in the far corner down the hallway. When she’d bought the home, she’d been surprised at how many bedrooms it had. There were six small rooms in the large house on a half of an acre of land with plenty of room for the dogs to run. One room served as the kennel, one her office, and the others made up treatment rooms and her bedroom. No one ever went in there and she had a double lock for a reason.

  It was her private sanctuary.

  The idea of someone having access to her personal effects while she was speaking with another person bothered her to no end. She needed a place of her own when her business comprised most of the square footage. Stepping into her bedroom, she locked the door behind her. Yanking up her pant leg, she analyzed the plastic cuff her knee sat inside.

  Sure enough, the sock was bunched up and folded over just under the joint, leaving a very tender spot. Taking off the sock, she rubbed some salve on it for a moment or two to try and reduce irritation. She reached over to her nightstand and grabbed a new sock, smoothing it onto her stump and pulling it tight. Fitting her knee back into the cuff carefully, she sighed with relief. The fit was much better. Strapping it to her leg, she tested it by shaking out the material of her loose pant leg.

  Perfect.

  Stepping into the blue room, Daisy avoided looking at anyone directly and felt keenly aware that she was being watched. Sitting down, she petted several of the dogs nearby as they lay near the feet of several clients. Taking a deep breath, she smiled brightly.

  “Today we are going to talk about hope. People say there are things that strike a cord and we’ve dealt with several of them: fear, loss, hate, love… but no one ever talks about hope. Imagine you have a garden in your mind. You till the soil, plant the seeds, and water it – but what keeps you coming back as you anxiously await those little sprouts? Hope. You have to believe that there is something better coming or else you develop another emotion that is more destructive than hate: apathy. You give up. You don’t care. Nothing matters anymore to you… and you cannot go down that road.”

  Daisy waited a moment to let all she’d said sink in. It was a hard lesson for her to learn and she hoped by explaining it, they could see and grasp what she meant by it.

  “So, we need to find the little things that make us happy and give us a sense of accomplishment. It could be something like cooking dinner for yourself from scratch,” Daisy smiled ruefully, holding up her hand and pointing at the blister. “Some of us can cook and some can’t. Take pride in what you can do… and don’t sweat the small stuff.

  “Are you okay?”

  Daisy met Ethan’s concerned face and smiled politely. Her heart fluttered in her chest from nervousness and happiness at his expression.

  “Yes, thank you. As I was saying, hope is in the little things. Has anyone here had surgery? Probably most of us, huh?” Seeing several raised hands, Daisy continued.

  “Do you remember how hard it was healing? The fatigue? The pain? Now, I want you to think back to the first time you got a real shower and put on clean clothing- not your hospital gown. You knew at that moment you were on the road to recovery and everything was going to be alright. That is hope. The little feeling or notion you get that makes you sigh in relief… so let’s share where you found hope recently, because it might help someone else discover it too.”

  “Murphy, let’s start with you.”

  “I’ve been having problems with my car and when it felt like that everything was crashing down around me- I was able to fix it easily and it’s been running like a dream ever since.”

  “Wonderful. Did you know you could do it or were you worried?”

  “I thought I could, but it’s a relief to know it’s going to start every time now.”

  “I’m sure it is,” Daisy agreed easily. “Ava, what about you? Have you had anything recently that has made you feel good or hopeful?”

  “My daughter is sleeping about five or six hours at a time now. I know when I lay down that I won’t be so horrifically exhausted when she
starts crying. It’s like we are falling into a routine and it’s not quite so bad as it was a few weeks ago.”

  “I bet that is such a relief and you feel like you can handle things better now. Exhaustion and coping with hormones are no joke. So, knowing that when you go to bed, you’ll be able to truly rest. I like that one because everyone can use a good night’s sleep,” Daisy cheered and turned to Ethan. “What about you, Ethan? What has made you feel hope lately?”

  “I went to a movie with a friend this week. I hadn’t been since the bomb took my leg. I’ve honestly been avoiding everything because there is such a difference having to use a crutch right now. I also started back up my physical therapy so I can keep getting stronger. So being able to do normal things again made me realize that I am progressing and keeping me motivated.”

  “So, for you, it’s feeling like you are regaining the person you felt like was missing? You are getting back to a normal routine.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve read that making your bed first thing when you get up forces people into a routine and makes them realize they’ve accomplished one thing already today. What about you, Cora? What has given you hope this last week?”

  Daisy went on around the room, asking each person and commenting. She wanted to encourage them all and they were making such progress that she herself found her drawing hope from it. She was glad that Ethan announced he had started physical therapy again. She didn’t want to be the only bright spot for him. That wasn’t healthy for him to put his happiness in her, because she would only let him down someday.

  That was human nature.

  You had to draw strength and contentment from deep within yourself. She’d read a phrase somewhere that said you can’t love someone until you love yourself… boy was that ever true! You could never expect someone to be happy with you if they were miserable. It would only bring pain and heartache, part of the reason she worried so much!